We have had a whirlwind of a life these past two weeks. We cleared to go get Yoseph on Nov. 21 and after spending a wonderful Thanksgiving with family we left Nov. 25 for Ethiopia to get our baby. As soon as we got off the plane just the smell of the air reminded me how interesting and wonderful Ethiopia is. Within 3 hours of getting off the plane we were at the transition center with Yoseph in our arms. It was so wonderful to see him again. For the first about 12 hours with us Yoseph was a very scared little boy. Babies don't remember things from 4 months ago, so he didn't remember us. We just held him close and were very gentle for the first few hours. After a bottle and a nap he warmed up to us.
We had several nights of very little sleep (and still are). The most memorable experience of the whole trip was on our last day. We visited Assella, Ethiopia which is where Yoseph's first orphanage was. We left Yoseph at the transition center for the day. This is the orphanage where his mother brought him when he was about 2-3 months old. The drive out there was literally like a real life Nascar race without seat belts, but we made it. We passed mud huts, camels and lots of donkeys, sheep and people.
When we arrived at Numan orphanage we were ushered into a small office at the orphanage and a small, wide eyed woman was sitting in the corner. We knew she would be there to meet with us. I could tell it was her, just by her eyes. It was Denbele, Yoseph's birthmother. Through translators she told us the story of how Yoseph was born and what his life was like when he was with her for the first 2-3 months of his life and why she decided adoption was the best option for him. I won't tell you much, it's Yoseph's story, for him to hear first and tell who he wants to. I will tell you she is a well educated woman who if only she had more resources would have raised Yoseph very well. Just like women in America can, for very good reasons, choose to give a baby for adoption, they can in Ethiopia too. We learned that when Yoseph was very young he was very malnourished and, in her words, "suffered a lot". Her words that she wants Yoseph raised well, educated, and to come visit her one day will echo with me probably every day. We did tell her that someday we would try to find her for her to meet Yoseph again, if Yoseph wants to. We then went back to pick up Yoseph and experienced the good byes from his nannies. Their tears and kisses and broken english of "take good care" and "love him" will also echo with me every day. Our boy was very loved in his first 10 months of life and we now have a huge responsibility to raise him lovingly and well.
After an excruciating 15 hour flight, where Steve had food poisoning about 8 hours of it, we made it to US soil and Yoseph became a US citizen. YAY!
Our time home has been, well, a little rough. We have good moment and bad moments. Yoseph wants to be held almost all the time. I do love holding a baby again, but when you've got two days worth of laundry and dishes and haven't fully unpacked it is enough to make a momma nuts. He will play by himself if we are sitting next to him for 10-20 minutes, but as soon as one of us leaves the room he cries. This is behavior we were told to expect. He is learning we won't leave him and learning to trust his new environment.
Elijah has been acting out quite a bit. Though he loves his brother he wants our attention all the time too. Yoseph does not sleep through the night. With the combination of jet lag, crying children at night and holding a baby all day long we are exhausted.
This is why we won't be out and about for a few more weeks. Our family is going through a BIG transition for ALL of us.
We ask you for prayers. Please pray Yoseph begins to trust and love us more, that Elijah learns to be a helpful, responsible big brother. And for us, to be patient and loving at all times.
Yoseph has his first check up tomorrow where we will probably be referred to a specialist for his tongue surgery. Pray that goes well. I feel he is healthy, he has already gained weight and the cough he had when we got him is mostly gone, but you know a mama worries.

On Yoseph's Homecoming

picture taken just last week

Yoseph is coming HOME!!! The embassy's interview with his birthmother was this morning at 5:00am our time (1:00pm there). I woke up on my own at exactly 5:00am this morning and prayed for this woman who is going through the hardest thing any mother ever can... giving up her baby.
I checked my email from 6:30-7:30am and then decided we weren't going to hear anything and went back to bed for a bit until Steve had to leave for work. Elijah came in about 7:45 and brought Daddy's phone to me. I told him "Elijah you know you are not supposed to have Daddy's phone go give it back to him and let Mommy rest" Then Steve came in and said, "No, Niki look at it". He showed me the email that we CLEARED.  I expected to be more emotional, but really I was just shocked and thought, okay let me go pack. I feel such relief and joy now. God is finishing what he started in our hearts about 2 years ago.
Travel plans won't be confirmed until tomorrow. We expect to leave Friday and return Thursday. I'm already mostly packed since we will leave here tomorrow to spend Thanksgiving with family and leave Elijah with them when we head out.

Thank you Lord, for your mercies and provision in every step of this journey.

On Yoseph's Homecoming
When he comes home we want to schedule a homecoming party to celebrate with our friends and introduce you to our new family member you have all helped pray home. More info on that will come soon. Then we're going to kind of disappear for a while. We will take our cues from Yoseph as to how long, but I expect we won't be at any church events for 2 weeks or so (maybe more if he needs it). We need to take a few weeks to get to know our new son and for him to get to know us. Bringing home a 10 month old adopted baby is ALOT different than bringing home a newborn. He has a background. He's experienced trauma in losing his first mother. He's lived in two different orphanages in a third world country and yes we are moving him again. That's a lot for a little life. He's built relationships with his nannies whom he will miss. He needs to learn what it's like to have a family. He's had so little consistency in his life he needs to learn that we are not leaving him, and he won't be taken and moved from his new home now. We've been told to expect him not to sleep well at night. Many newly adopted babies wake up every couple hours for reassurance that Mommy and Daddy are still there and that he is still in his new home.

After our kind of hermit stage we will then have a transition phase of being out and about but only being cared for by Mommy and Daddy or maybe Mammaw and Pappaw. I expect this stage to be several months. I know everyone will want to hold him, but for a while we will have a rule that only family members hold Yoseph. And, we may leave him in church nursery.  After my maternity leave I will be taking Yoseph with me to work for a while (thanks to a wonderfully flexible boss and schedule). I know this seems very protective, even overly protected. We were not nearly this protective when Elijah was born, but hey I had already known him for 40 weeks in my pregnancy and he hadn't had any traumas like Yoseph. You've got to understand we're building a relationship, and not just any relationship, a parenting relationship.  A relationship where when he scrapes his knee he calls for Mommy or Daddy. When he is feeling sad he comes to Mommy or Daddy. This takes lots of time together. He's got to learn we are the ones who help guide him in this life.

Also, within all this time we expect Yosef to have a surgery. We don't know how extensive this surgery will be until he's evaluated. He has a tongue tie, which means the skin under his tongue is fully connected so that he cannot move his tongue freely.  When we get him home the doctor will evaluate him, so we don't know yet what this surgery will totally involve.

We ask for your continued prayers as even though we are OVERJOYED to bring Yoseph home we still have challenges of adjustment ahead of us.

Niki

Finally November, Finally Good News

It's finally November, like my last post explained we had to wait until the judge in Ethiopia fixed our adoption decree before we could be submitted to the embassy to get a Visa for Yosef to come home. Those weeks were incredibly hard. We tried not to put our lives on hold while we waited for this. We did keep ourselves busy. Our hearts however, have continually longed for our son. Some days were very hard. We got these updated pictures which show how much he's growing. I was also glad to see he's still got our picture and blanket and mobile we left with him. I just love those big brown eyes, and sweet little curls.

Elijah is also growing like a weed.

Well, the long wait finally ended on October 26th they picked up our fixed adoption decree. This document had to be translated and our case was submitted to the embassy on November 2. Yesterday (November 9) the embassy made their requests. They want an interview with his birthmother. This is normal and is what we expected. The interview will be scheduled as soon as possible, hopefully within the next 1-2 weeks. Most families "clear" to go pick up their baby very soon after the interview. I will not be totally at peace until I have that baby in my arms, on US soil, past customs. If all goes well, IF, we think it's possible for him to be home by Thanksgiving or soon after.

Also, while we have been waiting many of our adopting friends have been thrown a huge nasty curveball. About 60 cases (about 10 of them friends with our agency) were sent to USCIS in Nairobi for further review. Well, a team from Nairobi came to Ethiopia to process these cases. They are reviewing cases this week and next. All of these families were told "any day now" you should be able to leave to get your baby and then boom, oh no wait it will be 1-3 more months. We've been grieving with those friends in this time. We now all anxiously await news on their cases. I sure am hoping to go to Ethiopia with these friends.

The journey has been long. Much longer than we thought. Back in July when we left him, we thought he'd be home by September. The Lord has been teaching us a lot during this time. I'm learning a lot about contentment and trust. In times we don't get what we want I try to remember God has already given me the greatest gift ever in salvation through His Son and he is also going to see this gift to conclusion. Back when we decided to adopt it was a surrender to his call and trust that he would provide. Now, I must surrender and trust in how he wants to bring this to a conclusion. I'm trusting in God's timing to bring Yosef home. 

The Bible relates our salvation to being adopted into God's family. I'm getting a little glimpse of how God yearns for his sons and daughters to come into his family. 

Planning Some Fun

Well, the end of this week has been particularly crappy and I've been a bit depressed about adoption stuff. Then, we made some plans to do something fun next weekend. It made me feel a lot better to have something FUN to look forward to and plan on. For the past couple months we've been planning on being able to bring Yosef home in late September or early October so we haven't planned much for the fall thinking we'll be in baby mode. Well, since it's clear that's not going to happen until like November or even December I'm needing some plans to keep me distracted and looking forward to something fun instead of sitting around here pouting.
I whipped out the calendar and started putting fun things on there and I'm feeling much better. For my fellow adopting friends maybe this will help you too. I'll still think about Yosef all the time, but now I'll be doing something fun also. We will never again be a family of three after he comes home, so we can enjoy this time. We also have several birthdays in our family in October and November.
Here's some things I've put on our calendar:
September 18- We're going to Medieval Times restaurant and show and stay a night in a hotel.
Week of September 25- One night we'll do a date night with a gift certificate we've had laying around here to Outback.
October 4-6- Is a board meeting in Lynchburg we'll go to and on the way home last year we went apple and pumpking picking. Then, I canned a bunch of applesauce and apple pie filing.
October 9- We'll go to Busch Gardens to Howl O' Scream. We have season's passes that expire on the 15th, so this will be our last time going on our passes.
October 19- Elijah's birthday, I might do a party the weekend of the 15th/16th
October 23- Steve's birthday- we'll do a small party and cake for him. Or maybe I'll plan something fun especially for him.
October 31- Trunk or Treat at church
November 4th is my birthday

By then, MAYBE we'll be able to start thinking about bringing Yosef home and Thanksgiving is soon too. We also have a lot going on with camp which will keep us busy.

Here's my list of other TO DO's before baby to keep me busy at home:

• Freeze some more dinners for easy post baby meals
• Make a few loaves of bread and breakfast breads to freeze
• Can applesauce/apple pie filling
• Reorganize some furniture in the baby room
• I'll probably reorganize the baby clothes and put some of the smaller sizes away.
• Buy Christmas gifts and all those birthdays too
• We're starting our small group up again soon.
• We're starting a weekly game night with some friends.
• I guess I've still gotta clean and such.
• I've got some pictures of Yosef printed, I've got to make a gift for his birthmother and maybe for the nannies too and an album for me too.

I'm sure I'll still have some "bad days" where I just want to cry and scream for my baby and complain about the embassy. Overall, it feels good to be busy with some FUN things planned.
Maybe it would help you to think about what you can do to have some fun.

AHHHHH!!!

Well, you know how I said adoption is hard. It seems especially hard these days. We've met our son and fallen in love and then had to leave him. It seems unnatural and is very sad. We've now waited 6 weeks and it took them that long to get all the needed paperwork together- adoption decree, translated adoption decree, birth certificate, passport, and medical review. This all had to be sent to the US Embassy.
You see, the Ethiopian government has declared that Yosef is our child and finalized our adoption. This decision is irreversible according the the Ethiopian government. Now, all of this has to be approved by the US Embassy who can give him a visa to enter the US and become a citizen. Their processing times in the past have been 2-3 weeks. Over the past several months the US Embassy has really cracked down and investigates every case down to the minute detail, often meaningless details like spellings of names and pictures of relatives (even dead relatives). They have now told us their investigation could take just a few days to up to a few months.
They do an initial review of paperwork before they even start their real investigation and they didn't even accept our paperwork. They want "more information on the birthfather's status" and want his name on the adoption decree. To get his name on the adoption decree it has to be approved by the judge who wrote the original decree. Now it gets complicated. The court system is closed until the end of September for the "rainy season". So, we now have to wait until the end of the rainy season to get a new adoption decree, which then will take like 2 weeks to get and get translated, then sent back to the embassy. The embassy can then start their investigation which could take just a few days or a couple months. And, we're not the only ones with this problem. On Facebook I met another family who has been waiting two weeks already for the courts to reopen. There are also families who have had their paperwork reviewed up to three times. They will review the paperwork and request more information and call people in for interviews, etc until they are satisfied.
Since getting this news on Thursday I've been a mess!  Since leaving him, it's been the emotionally hardest part of those whole process and now we are going to be in this stage for at least 2 more months. Our friends who were with us in Ethiopia, who met their babies at the same time we did, got their paperwork accepted, but still have investigations to go through.
Let me say, I do want absolute transparency and accuracy with his documents and the information about him to be investigated thoroughly. But, let me also remind you he's already been declared our son and us his parents. No one else can ever adopt him. It still seems like he can be taken from us.
I know the House of Hope staff are incredible, but it's not the love of a mother and a family. I want him home with ME! He needs the love of a mother and a family. This is now going to be delayed for several more months.

Ethiopia Trip One

Our time in Ethiopia was absolutely amazing. We saw incredible poverty and incredible love. Visiting Yosef was amazing and the highlight of the trip. He is smiley and loves to be held. He’s small for his age, but that’s okay, we know he’ll thrive when we get him home. So, here’s kind of the highlights of each day of our trip:

Saturday-
I dropped off Elijah with his grandparents, to me marking the start of the trip. I had been fearing this part. He had been saying for a few days “I miss Mommy Daddy”. I was afraid he would have a fit when I left him, but he didn’t. In normal Elijah happiness he waved and said “bye bye Mommy I love you” and continued to play with his legos. We were leaving early the next morning. So I went home to finish packing. When I went online to double check what time we needed to be there I also noticed some of the baggage limits. Arghh, I was over the weight limit on almost all of our bags and had to repack everything. I should have checked that earlier. We went to bed and we were so excited and nervous.

Sunday
We flew out of Dulles Airport in DC, which is about a 3 hour drive from us (this saved us like $400). Our flight left at 10:00am. We got breakfast on the way and went smoothly through security and everything. We flew Ethiopian Airlines. The first thing we noticed was all the beautiful Africans waiting for our plane. There were also a few mission teams. Then 12 stewardess walked onto our flight, all absolutely beautiful. The flight was 12 hours long and they are 8 hours ahead of us in time, so we landed at 8:00am Monday. They had movie screens and games in the seat backs in front of us, which helped pass the time a lot. We were so anxious that we slept very little.

Monday-
We landed and we were very anxious. We didn’t know what to expect with getting Visas and going through customs and everything. We were also afraid because we didn’t know the language and we were afraid of stories we’d heard of pick pockets and such. It actually went pretty smoothly. The people telling us where to go spoke english. We got through Visas and everything great. Then we got our bags and exchanged some money. Then we went through the gates to the waiting area. There was a huge crowd of people justProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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aiting for people getting off flights. It was at this point we definitely knew we weren’t in America anymore.  We didn’t see the person who was picking us up, so we had to wait for her in this lobby for about 20 minutes. It was a little scary. We were pretty much the only white people in this lobby, which we didn’t mind, but we were definitely getting some stares. The bathroom we visited was gross, which seemed to be a theme in all public restrooms. No toilet paper or soap and this one didn’t even have a toilet seat or lock, but considering we also saw people later going on the streets I guess this was an upgrade.
So, our representative from the adoption agency picked us up and brought us to the car. On the drive is when we really first got to see the city of Addis and the poverty. It was worse than what we had expected. The driving shocked us. There are no lines in the roads and seem to be no real rules at all. Animals and people walk on the same roads as the cars in most places, no cross walks, no street signs. Amazingly though we saw no accidents the whole time.
They took us to the guest house to let us get settled into our room. While we did they brought another group of families to the House of Hope “transition center” where the babies were. We were just very shocked and anxious at this point. We knew very soon we would meet our baby. We had very little sleep, but the adrenaline was very high. We met a few of the other families. Pretty soon they came back to take us to the House of Hope.
They took us up to a waiting room and Hermella, our guide, brought Yosef in to us. Steve held him first (he got to hold Elijah first too, but I’m okay with that). Yosef just had this shocked look on his face the whole time. Poor little guy had no idea what was going on. He looked just like his pictures. Absolutely adorable. He is very small for his age. He’s 14 pounds and is 6 months old. We had already known about a small special need he has, he has ankyglossia (tongue tied), the skin under his tongue is attached all the way to the tip of his tongue. We had known about it but hadn’t seen pictures. It is a more severe case of it, but is easily fixed with surgery here in the US. If he were to grow up in Ethiopia he probably couldn’t get this fixed and it could greatly effect the quality of his life. This was just our first time to see it in person. He can still eat, but not as quickly and has a special cereal he eats, just more watery than the other kids. This first day he was more kind of tense and fussy, which made us a little worried. We played with him on the floor some. He fell asleep for a while and when he woke up they brought us a bottle to feed him.
Then we went back to the guest house for lunch, leaving Yosef with his nannies. The guest house fed us all of our meals. They fed us kind of americanized Ethiopian food, less spicy than they eat. It was very good. Lunch is the biggest meal of the day for them. At lunch every day we had Injera, which is a kind of Ethiopian flat bread, kind of like a sourdough crepe. You use it to pick up your food. Most meals were mostly roasted vegetables, stews, and soups with just a little meat.
After lunch we went back to the House of Hope. We also were going to help work on fixing up the House of Hope a little. We helped move furniture and started painting the walls. This day we really just watched since we had just met Yosef and wanted to spend more time with him. He loosened up a lot on our afternoon visit. He loves to be held. At about 5:00 we went back to the guest house and had dinner. We went to bed immediately after dinner, but still didn’t sleep very well. I woke up at midnight and didn’t sleep much after that.

Tuesday
After breakfast we went to the transition center and spent some time with Yosef. He actually seemed to recognize us from Monday. He was much more smiley and playful with us this day. We put him down a little bit for a nap and helped paint some and put on those wall decal things to decorate. We went back for lunch and some of the other families went home after lunch. The rest of the week we spent with the Perry and Olsson families. We really got along well with them. Their babies came from the same original orphanage as Yosef so our kids have similar origins. In the afternoon we spent some more time with Yosef and painted a little more.

Wednesday
Wednesday was very similar to Tuesday. We spent time in the morning and after lunch with Yosef and painting at the transition center. One of the highlights of Wednesday was buying some roasted corn from a lady on the side of the road. Yes, not the wisest health decision in a third world country, but we didn’t get sick so that was good. On about every street corner there were women and sometimes children with husks of corn they would heat up over hot coals. We wanted to try it. Our guide Hermella thought we were silly for wanting to put butter and salt on it.
This day we also got to see Yosef’s nanny’s interact with him some more. Very often them would stop and kiss on the babies and play with them some. We were comforted to see them respond to the babies when they cry. They don’t just let them cry, they help them. They feed them, keep them clean and hold them a few times a day. They do spend a lot of time in their cribs and don’t get the same interaction as in a family, but they are well cared for overall. That was comforting. They keep the place very clean. They hand wash everything, including cloth diapers for about 25 babies, in a wash basin and hang them to dry. They work very hard and it is incredible to see.

Thursday
Thursday morning was our big day. This was the day of our court appointment, the main reason for this trip. We left the guest house right after breakfast and drove to the courthouse. We went up like 3 flights of stairs and into this big room with about 40 other families. It was very crowded and kind of hot. We all just waited until they called us in. They called us in by orphanage. There were also some birth families there who were there to go before the judge to relinquish their children. That was sad to see, but also interesting. We were told that Yosef’s birthmother would not be scheduled on the same day we were there. We waited about 2 hours before they called us. We went in as a group and we were asked about 5 yes or no questions as a group. We just answered yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... and the judge said okay, your adoption is approved pending your approval letter from the ministry of women’s children’s and youth affairs which will come in 15-20 business days. The whole meeting with the judge lasted about 1 minute.
As we left some in our group had to stop at the bathroom. We were again pointed and stared at by some of the locals as we waited outside the bathroom. As we left the courthouse we were kind of bombarded by some young boys wanting to clean our shoes and sell us lottery tickets. I just held tightly to Steve’s hand and went quickly to the car. One little boy (about  9 years old) just looked in our car window and kept asking for food.... break my heart, we didn’t have any with us. It was kind of emotional thinking that could have been my Yosef in a few years.
We went back for lunch and then to the House of Hope for some more time with Yosef and some painting/decorating. Yosef had a fever this afternoon, but after a nice suppository of baby tylenol (given by the nurse), and a nap in Daddy’s arms he started feeling better.
Thursday for dinner we went to a traditional Ethiopian restaurant to celebrate. It was about my favorite non-Yosef time of the trip. This restaurant was clearly part of the higher-class of Ethiopia, in a much better neighborhood. They had live entertainment with traditional Ethiopian music and dancers, which was absolutely amazing. The food was good, but overall the food at the guest house was better. We paid the equivalent of about $20 american money for Steve and I, including a beer, tip and helping pay for our guide. Everything there was cheap, and our money went far compared to here.
After dinner on Thursday we called home to check in with Elijah. Poor little guy, as soon as he heard our voices he started crying and saying “miss you Mommy, miss you Daddy”. That broke our hearts, but we knew he gad been having a fun time. Cathy told us he had been playing with his cousins, went to the park, Busch Gardens, swimming, playing in sprinklers, and having a fun time. I guess next time it will be better not to call.

Friday/Saturday
This was our last day in Ethiopia. When we went to the House of Hope. Yosef again had a fever and kept spitting up everything fed to him. After another nice suppository of tylenol and some antibiotics this time, and a nap I finally got him to keep down some watered down cereal and a bottle. He was starting to worry me, but after he kept down his bottle he was much happier and played nicely with us all afternoon. He fell asleep in Steve’s arms just before we left. There were definitely tears as we left and I still tear up whenever I think about leaving him. They told us we should be able to come back in September to bring him home.
We left at 9:15pm in Ethiopia and arrived back in DC at like 10:00am (plus factoring in that 7 hour time difference). That flight was torturous. There were several families on our flight home that were taking home their kids. I was happy for them, but it kind of was hard to see. We had a few delays, but slept a few hours this time. Then fought traffic for like 5 hours driving home (which should have taken 3 hours). We joked that our whole time in Ethiopia with all the crazy driving, no street signs, livestock in the roads, etc we saw no accidents, but saw 4 (!) fender benders on the drive home. We were just as excited to get home to Elijah as we were on Sunday to get to Yosef.

Overall this trip made us incredibly thankful for America! I have never been so thankful for simple things like paved roads and sewer systems. They told us we would probably go back in September to pick him up. On that trip we will be there about the same length of time. On that trip Yosef will be with us the whole time. We’ll literally pick him up when we get there and he’ll be ours the whole time. We’ll just have to let him visit the House of Hope for a few hours on the day we go to our Embassy appointment for his Visa and the day we go meet his birthmother he’ll stay with his nannies.

We will be able to share pictures of Yosef after we get our letter from the ministry, which will finalize the adoption. We took lots of pictures and video to share once we're allowed to.

Going to Ethiopia!

So, here's kind of my jumbled thoughts I have time to put together about our first trip to Ethiopia.... YAY.

The day we got home from Steve's brother, Mark and Katie's wedding (it was a lovely wedding) we got the next important call in the adoption process. We had a court date scheduled for July 28, and they want us there on the 25. Wow. I had thought we would get the call any day now and knew it would be soon, but for some reason Steve thought we had a few more weeks to wait. Our first thought was YAY we get to see our baby.... and then oh that's Youth Week at camp (about our busiest week of the summer). But, there was no way we were going to wait any longer, and we knew Matt could hold down the fort for us. So I basically have unpacked the suitcases and just left them out to start repacking. We leave in about a week and a half at this point and yes I've already started packing.

So, what's up for this trip is that we #1 get to meet our baby and #2 get to appear in court and proclaim that "we have met him and want to adopt him". When we started this whole process 18 months ago we wouldn't have to do this, but mid-process they changed the requirements requiring us to make this first trip to meet him and officially promise to adopt him.  After we appear in court  we go home, but they work for the next couple weeks getting paperwork ready for him to come home. They then have to wait for approval from the Ministry of Women's Children and Youth affairs, which they say will take 3-4 weeks. After their approval the adoption decree is officially made, and a birth certificate is ordered. I guess a birth certificate is not routinely given unless it's specially ordered. After there's a birth certificate then they can get him a passport. Then the whole file goes to the US embassy for approval. The US embassy then has the right to do some background research on the whole thing (and they often do) just to make sure everything is legit and legal. After this is approved we will get the call that we can go back to get him. That whole process they say will take 5 weeks, so on top of the 3-4 weeks for ministry approval we expect to go back in about 2 months and bring him home.
Well, maybe 2 months, the ideal is 2 months. Mixed in with all this is a "rainy season" from August-September where most of the court system and legal system shut down. So, that may add a litProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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e time for us. Overall we expect to travel back to get him in about October.

I'm excited. I'm nervous. Overall I'm ready to GO. I tear up every time I think about meeting him. I'm excited to hold him but we've been told to expect that he may not come to us right away. The poor little guy has been through a lot of uncertainty and changes in his life. We are strangers to him and he's likely never seen many white faces (let alone bright red hair). We are bringing toys and blankets to give him. I'm excited to see where he's being taken care of and give him a few items to make it nice for him. I think that will reassure me that he's being taken care of well.
We are staying at the adoption agency's guest house, which will be good. He will be living at the transition home there, so he will be close by and will be able to visit with him often, but won't be able to take him away or really care for him on this visit. On the next visit we will have full custody of him the whole time, it's kind of a transition time where we take care of him in his current environment before we just take him home. 
I think the time between the visits will fly by and before we know it we'll have two little boys running around here.

Buying In Bulk

My favorite blogger at Heavenly Homemakers did a recent post on how she buys everything in bulk. So, I was inspired to write about my recent habits of buying things in bulk. Now, she has 4 kids and I have like half a kid (2 1/2 years old), so here's my bulk buying on a small scale. It really does save a lot of money and is a huge convenience to not have to add broccoli to the grocery list every week because I have 3 huge bags in my freezer. We were also very blessed with a free stand up freezer from Steve's parents a few months ago. 

The key is to determine what you really use a lot of. And, don't go into Sam's club and just do your grocery shopping, you have to determine what you really use a lot. I do like a monthly Sam's club run and then buy weekly or bi-weekly grocery run for fresh foods. I have also bought some things online and at farms. Here's a list of what I've bought in bulk over the past year and where I got it from.

Diapers- For the first 18 months with Elijah we mostly used cloth diapers. When he started eating solids and going to day care it got too hard and we switched to disposables, but we saved a lot of money by using cloth for even a little while and now we don't have to spend anything on baby #2. But, for disposables we bought big boxes from Sam's Club of the store brand.
Laundry Detergent- I buy this online. I bought a box with 4 large containers. I don't know how much this saved, but I like not buying it from the store. What I bought is eco-friendly and it's hard to find that at the store.
Meat - I've started buying as much meat as I can directly from farms. It is more expensive this way, but healthier and yummier. In January we bought 20 pounds of grass-fed ground beef from a farm in North Carolina. As of today we have 8 ponds left. They were having a sale for $5/pound which is great for that kind of meat.  I also buy chickens and eggs from a local farm. Eggs actually don't go bad for a very long time so I bought 3 dozen like a month ago and I still have 1 dozen left.
Rice- most stores sell big bags of rice, we got ours from Walmart
Cheese- I buy the really big bags from Walmart or Sam's and freeze usually half. Yes, you can freeze cheese.
Toilet Paper and Paper Towels- this is an obvious one for me. they are things you will Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
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ways need.
Berries- Steve likes to make smoothies and Elijah will eat blueberries as a snack. We buy the big frozen bags from Sam's.
Broccoli- frozen broccoli from Sam's comes in a big bag with like 4 small bags in it. We use frozen broccoli a lot.
Tomatoes- This year I planted 10 tomato plants with the goal of canning homemade salsa and spaghetti sauce. But, until I get a good crop I buy from Sam's the cases of canned diced tomatoes and tomato sauce. From these basics I can make salsa and pizza sauce and spaghetti sauce. I hope my tomato crop works out but those pesky horn worms are trying to take over. Me and my scissors are hunting those pests down and now I'm hopeful for those green little buds. (I also planted 5 green pepper plants because we eat those a lot on pizzas and fajitas. I'm hoping to freeze a lot of peppers.)

Well, those are the main things. My big ole freezer has room for more, so I'll keep investing. Have you seen that show Extreme Couponing? I definitely don't have that kind of stock pile and that's not my goal, but I do like the convenience of having what I need on hand and the money savings. I buy healthy food in bulk because it often is cheaper in bulk, that couponing strategy is great, but it always seems like its mostly junk food.

Adoption is hard

When we first decided to adopt we heard "the process is hard", but hey you never think it's going to be hard for you, right? I tend to be kind of a pessimist sometimes, so I did expect it to be hard and it has been harder than I thought it would be. We hoped to already have a baby in our arms 18 months after starting this journey and the truth is it'll probably be about 4-6 more months. We often feel that people think we're crazy. And yes, we've already experienced racism.

Guess what, it's hard for our baby too. He has lost his first family and I know that is a huge loss, even for a little baby. I know he will forever wonder about them and want to know them. Right now, he lives in an orphanage where we hope his needs are met, but we all know babies need families. A baby's needs are best met in a family; that's why we're adopting. Because babies need families. I pray every day for my baby- that he gets hugs when he cries, that he gets fed when he's hungry, that he has someone who will love him while I can't and most of all that he will come home to me soon.

A lot of joy is in our future for sure! We cannot wait to hold our baby and bring him into our family. We will love him just like we love Elijah. We know there will be more challenges in our future (bonding and attachment, racism, sibling rivalry, etc) I know those challenges lie ahead and they are probably going to be harder than I think they'll be.

So, why is it worth it? To ask that question is basically like asking "Why adopt?" Why? Here's my answer. Because babies need homes. Because we want another child in our family. I believe God hears the cries and knows the pain of orphans. I think he answers those cries by sending people to adopt. I don't think I need to have another baby while there are millions of orphans in the world. Though maybe we'll have another biological child, right now we're called to adopt. We're people who do something about what we think is right. When God calls us, you better believe we're going to say yes. God never said it would be easy, but we're answering his call. That's why it's worth it.

Guess what? You could do it too. It won't be easy, but it's worth it.

Baby Registry

I wanted to mention that I've been working on a baby registry at www.diapers.com. I don't like to publish stuff like that too much, but really only like 4 people read my blog and I love you all, so I'll tell you. It's been fun just to make the registry, kind of like "nesting". We don't need a whole lot, thanks to already having a baby, but what I put on there we really do need. We're literally paying about $7,000 just to go to Ethiopia twice. I know some people will want to buy us gifts, so I might as well tell you what we might like. 
It was so depressing to look at the $600 double strollers. Who can afford that? Well, I didn't register for the $600 stroller. We also will need a few clothes, but I'm not sure what size he's going to be yet and if he'll correspond to the sizes and seasons that we had clothes for Elijah. He's kind of small for his age right now, but that's typical for babies in an orphanage and he'll catch up quickly after being home.

Thanks!

Also, I'm waiting for a list of stuff they need at the orphanage; people can donate for us to bring stuff to the orphanage with us. They usually ask for stuff like over the counter medications, clothes, or shoes. More to come on that soon.

What's Up!

Well, I know I'm a bag blogger. Really for the past few months I have just not felt inspired to blog about anything. But, here's what's been going on. In March we started hearing rumors of changes in the Ethiopia adoption system- that came true. They are saying they are only processing 5 cases a day, they used to process up to 15-20 a day, so it's a big slow down. We had also been waiting for 7 months since we had completed our dossier paperwork with no referral. We had been feeling a lot of uncertainty about the adoption- to the point that we seriously considered stopping or putting a hold on the adoption. We were having thoughts that it would be years before our baby would be home.
Then, we got a spark of good news one day. We heard we were within the top ten on the referral list and that they expect to get more referrals soon. That was a glimmer of hope, so we stuck with it, and I'm so glad we did.

On Monday, May 16, at 3:30pm, after 7 1/2 months of waiting- we got THE CALL! They had matched us with a baby. We had a referral! Due to confidentiality agreements we can't tell you much about him since this is a public blog (even though I only have like 4 readers). You see, technically he's not officially ours until our first trip to Ethiopia where it is finalized in court. If I see you in person I can show you his picture, but I can't publish anything public about his specific details. He's a boy, and he's 4 months old, that's about all I can say. He is the cutest thing ever! I have to admit I had feared being assigned a not so attractive baby. Heck when I was pregnant I was worried about giving birth to a not so attractive baby. I have to say... he is so CUTE. Just the biggest, sweetest brown eyes. Some people have commented that he has slightly lighter skin (we don't care about that), but let me explain. We don't know his total background for sure, but Ethiopia is close the the middle east (like Saudi Arabia), so some Ethiopians have light skin due to some mixing with that region. Anyways, he's cute.

Like I said, it's not official until after our first trip, but we have signed the papers to proceed with his adoption and it's rare for adoptions to fall through at this point, but possible. 

So, back to those changes in the Ethiopian court system. They are in effect to only process 5 a day, but we've still been told to expect the same tProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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eline we had originally been told. I guess the wait is only going to get longer if they get backed up, which it's such a new process they haven't gotten backed up yet. Our baby also has a minor special need (It's minor, but might require a surgery on his mouth). It's up to the doctor in Ethiopia, but if the doctor thinks he needs to get home sooner to get the surgery or because he's getting sick we could get our case expedited. At this point we're expecting to go on our first trip in 3-4 months, and our second trip 5-8 weeks after that. So, we are expecting that if all goes well he'll be home before the end of the year... YAY!

It would be good news if we were expedited, but at the same time it would only happen because our baby would be sick (no one wants him to get sick) and it would mean we might have to travel to Ethiopia during camp (which would be fine, but stressful). At the same time we want him to get out of that orphanage and into our loving family quickly. The longer a baby stays in an orphanage the higher the risk of developmental and physical delays and illnesses. That part is all a mix of emotions, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Now, we just have to wait to hear when our court date is in Ethiopia and if the doctor wants to expedite our case. Again we wait but at least now I have his adorable picture to look at and know specifically who we're praying for. 

Please help us pray for baby #2 Gourley, that he will be healthy and well cared for and that he will come home to us quickly.

A full freezer, and a little catch up

Well, I'm a bad blogger. It's been what like 2 months since I've posted. Thanks Mom for the blog reminder. We had a great Christmas. We spent it in North Carolina with Steve's brother and family. Elijah loved seeing his cousins. It was a great time with family. We tried not to get E too many gifts, we didn't want him too focused on presents. From us he got a truck, a new comforter for his big boy bed, and a nalgene sippy cup, plus a few things in his stocking. He also got a lot from all his grandparents. I received a very nice necklace from Steve, and a new pot/pan set from Steve's parents. Steve got a blu-ray player that he patiently waited 2 years for.

I really enjoyed the week after Christmas also. We had the whole week off between Christmas and New Year's. We got some things around the house organized and I stocked our freezer. In my cooking marathon I made burritos (which are already gone), granola, applesauce bread, ham casserole, chicken soup, zuppa soup, and hamburger/hotdog buns. We brought a few things to put in our friends the Satterfields freezer, they are about to have a baby (#3). Last week I froze a lasagna, and today I made pizza for dinner and decided to make a triple batch of dough. I made pizza pockets with one batch and par baked personal size pizza crusts with the other.
I'm all about this freezer food thing. I cook a little extra, throw it in the freezer and I don't have to cook every night of the week, except to thaw and heat it up. And, using homemade freezer food is much cheaper and healthier than buying frozen food.  Steve and I have our eyes on craigslist looking for a second freezer so we could buy more in bulk and freeze more.

Here are two of my favorite recipes from my cooking marathon:

Burritos- great for the freezer!
2 lbs ground beef
taco seasoning for 2 lbs of ground beef, my recipe is below.
1 cup rice, cooked
1 can pinto beans
15-20 flour tortillas, mexican cheese, and sour cream
Cook ground beef according to directions with the taco seasoning, when it's done stir in the cooked rice and beans (drain and rinse the canned beans). The beans and rice will stretch the ground beef and give a good texture, and nutrition. Fill flour tortillas with about 3/4 cup meat/bean mixture, top with Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
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eese and sour cream and fold like a burrito. Then freeze. To use, wrap in a wet paper towel and microwave for 2 minutes, turning over after 1 minute.

Taco Seasoning
1 tablespoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon paprika1
1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon black pepper

Store in air tight container. 3 Tablespoons per pound meat.


Granola- adapted from Alton Brown's recipe from the Food Network
3 cups rolled oats
    •    1 cup slivered almonds
    •    1 cup cashews (cashew pieces, unsalted)
    •    1/2 cup peanuts (unsalted or lightly salted, dry roasted)
    •    1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar (or I use sucanat, a natural, unrefined sugar)
    •    1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons maple syrup
    •    1/4 cup melted coconut oil
    •    3/4 teaspoon salt
    •    1 cup raisins
Directions
Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.
In a large bowl, combine the oats, nuts, and brown sugar.
In a separate bowl, combine maple syrup, oil, and salt. Combine both mixtures and pour onto 2 sheet pans. Cook for 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes to achieve an even color.
Remove from oven and transfer into a large bowl. Add raisins and mix until evenly distributed.