Fundraising... Here we go!!!

I got a few minutes of quiet this morning. A rare thing these days with a 4 year old boy, 2 year old boy and an infant girl. After showering and doing dishes, I grabbed my Bible for a few minutes of time with the Lord. While in my prayer time I realized I have not prayed enough for my fourth child very much. It's possible that right now, across the world in Ethiopia, there's a baby girl who will some day be our baby girl. I don't know the circumstances of how she will some day become ours. All I know is to pray that my baby will feel God's love, and that those around her will show her love and fill her belly.

Yes! We are planning to adopt again. We have long known we wanted to have more than one adopted child in our family. After much research, prayer and thinking we decided to adopt from Ethiopia again. It currently takes 2-3 years to complete an adoption from Ethiopia. The wait times have increased due to increased paperwork requirements to insure ethical adoptions. A good thing, it just means it takes longer for everyone. We are asking for a girl, a toddler, who will likely have special medical needs. 

Adoption is a miracle. If you don't agree, then maybe you haven't met our Yoseph or heard his story.  Born the son of a student, who got pregnant through a tragic situation. She tried for 6 weeks to provide for him, she sacrificed a lot to give him LIFE and made the hardest decision any woman can make... to give him to another family. We were of course blessed to be that family. Now look at him! He smiles all day long! We are excited to be a part of a miracle again. And YOU can be a part of it too! While not everyone can adopt, everyone should support orphan care and adoption in some way. Here's one way.

We need $9,000 over the next 3 months to get started.  I bet YOU could give $30-$50, I bet many of you could actually give even more. We only need 180 people to give $50 and  BOOM we've got it! Give up coffee for a week or don't eat out this weekend and instead give to give a child a family. Even if you can't give, share this post with your friends and maybe they will feel led to give. 

Want to make a donation? That would be awesome! IT IS TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!!- if you donate through our agency. They will send you a nice letter documenting your gift.


Visit West Sands website. Click on donate. Follow the directions for the donations. MAKE SURE YOU PUT "GOURLEY FAMILY" in the purpose box!

You can also give using the DONATE button at the top right of the blog, but that way is not tax-deductible, that's our personal PayPal account.

Both methods of online donations are secure, through PayPal. If you prefer to make a donation by check, our address is P.O. Box 435 Hartfield, VA 23071. But, only donations made directly to the agency can get a letter for tax purposes.

Also, stay tuned. We plan to sell cookbooks, sheets, and maybe jewelry too.

Thank you so much!!!

Home study, Dossier, Waiting list.... Here we come!

Well, it's official. We're starting the process to adopt again! From Ethiopia again!

Now, I know many of you are thinking- "Didn't you JUST have a baby? What's the rush?" Well, that's the thing. It will not be a rush at all. To adopt a young child from Ethiopia right now we will be waiting at least 18-24 months for a referral (possibly longer) plus add in there 6-8 months to process paperwork. To give you perspective we waited 7 1/2 months for Yoseph's referral- big difference. That's why we are starting now.  We know this will be a very long process. We are also open to a pretty wide variety of special needs, so that factor may speed up our process or it might not.
We expect Lydia to be 2-3 years old when this child comes home. We are requesting a girl, 1-3 years old (yes, a toddler) so they may actually be close in age. We expect this to be the last child added to our family, but the Lord is always in control. We would have loved to adopt an older waiting child, but since our kids are young it wouldn't work for us right now. We didn't want to displace Elijah as our oldest.

Now, please keep following our blog because one thing is going to be very different this time around. We will be doing a lot more fundraising for this adoption. This is in big part out of need and also partly to give our family and friends the opportunity to help in their own way to make one less orphan in this world. We are very much stepping out in faith for God's financial provision. So, stay tuned for opportunities to help. For example, over the next 6 months we have about $10,000 due just to get all of our paperwork done and get us on the waiting list. Then, I'll let you imagine the costs for two adults traveling two times to Ethiopia for a week each trip and all the legal processing. We do not currently have that much money.... SO we have several plans in the works to help us raise money and we will need YOUR support! Now, don't think I'm saying we're raising all the money. We are personally contributing as much as we can, but we know we will not have it all.

For those of you who are interested- We knew we would adopt again. We took many months thinking and praying if this was the right avenue for us. We looked into many other country's adoption programs and a US adoption and began researching many agencies pretty in depth. Ethiopia is not the fastest option and its not the most stable option- though probably the most stable of all the african countries. The main reason we decided on Ethiopia again is so that Yoseph will share heritage with another child in our family. That is huge for us. We can take heritage trips to one country and really dive into integrating the one other culture into our family. Pray for us and our future daughter!

FYI: We are using West Sands Adoptions, a different agency than last time. We have had 3 friends adopt through them, with good experiences. While we know no agency is perfect we are excited to start the journey with them. If you are at all interested in adoption, look them up. They especially place older and special needs children quickly.

Want to get a head start on your donation? That would be awesome! Our first fee is
$5700 and due soon. IT IS TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!!- if you donate through our agency.
Visit West Sands website. Click on donate. Follow the directions for the donations. MAKE SURE YOU PUT "GOURLEY FAMILY" in the comments!

Lydia Grace

Haven't updated the blog in a while. It looks like my last post was my shock of being pregnant. Well, right now I am currently learning the art of breast feeding while typing, as I hold our beautiful daughter in my arms. Lydia Grace was born January 23, weighing 7 lbs 5 oz. Her birth was pretty uneventful, except for the fact that it was one of the best and biggest days of my life. I had to have a c-section when Elijah was born and opted for a repeat c-section this time around. So, we were scheduled to go in a week before my due date, had a relaxed morning, watched tv while we waited, then went in and had a baby. A breeze compared to many hours of labor. A c-section is definitely no walk in the park, but hey it's over now.

I was shocked to hear she has dark hair. Elijah's was lighter and we even thought she might be a red head.
We really struggled over deciding her name. Going in to the hospital we had it narrowed down to two names, neither of which were Lydia. And, it took me weeks of deciding to narrow it down to those two. We thought when we saw her we could decide which one she was, but no, she was not an Evangeline Grace or Maisie-Grace Calhoun. We thought back to some names we had discussed before, and Lydia seemed beautifully perfect.

My recovery has been as expected also. Still pretty sore, . Lydia is eating well and sleeping well and growing. We're easing into life as a family of 5. As of today Elijah is actually having a harder time than Yoseph. We expected Yos to have the harder adjustment. Elijah understands a lot more, he's trying to figure out things like "why does she only drink milk?" and "what's that thing on her belly?". He's a sweet kid and is really just wanting encouragement and reassurance right now. So, we're working on that.

I have used this blog to announce adoption related things. Well, a few months ago we were rearing and ready to go to sign with an agency for another Ethiopia adoption. BUT, as it turns out, with the arrival of a new baby and moving into a new house in May or June it's better to wait until after we move to start. We would have to totally re-do our home study, costing a lot more money, if we started now. So, we're trusting God's timing. It's really probably the best. It's giving us time to just chill and enjoy our current blessings instead of worrying about piles of paperwork and dossiers and stuff in an adoption. We just know this waiting time is part of the story towards our fourth child.

Orphan Sunday

November is National Adoption Month. Sunday November 4th is National Orphan Sunday. A day set aside for us to remember the 147 million children in the world without parents. It's also MY BIRTHDAY!! So, give to a great cause as my birthday present! Even though I believe you should be supporting orphans anyways!

I wanted to highlight several ministries that support and advocate for and directly help orphans of all kinds.

#1 The Olsson Family  We met Amy and Sten Olsson on our first trip to Ethiopia. They adopted their daughter Marra Frehiwet at the same time we adopted our Yoseph- from the same orphanage. They are now fundraising for adoption #2, a 6 year old girl waiting in Ethiopia. The link above is to the Facebook-A-Thon launching on Orphan Sunday. Their goal is to raise $5,000 in 5 days. Their daughter is ready and waiting for them as soon as they get their paperwork together. The paperwork itself costs alot and they are trying to hurry and go get her. Donations are tax deductible!

#2 Project Hopeful Advocating for orphans with HIV/AIDS and other special needs and the families who adopt them. They advocate for children from all over the world and educate many families about adopting a child with special needs.

#3 Bring Love In This is an incredibly exciting ministry in Ethiopia. They set up homes, and bring in loving, caring, Christian women who are widows. They then enable and support these women to adopt orphans into their home. They support both widows and orphans! They hope to support these children all the way through college. This gives the children a family and keeps them in their country so they can become contributing leaders in Ethiopia.

#4 Show HOPE This is the ministry of the Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman. They focus on orphan care, surgeries for orphans in need, and grants to adopting families. Our family was the GLAD recipient of a Show Hope grant. They are an incredibly trusted ministry.

#5 The Dave Thomas Foundation Have a heart for children in American Foster care? The Dave Thomas Foundation is the leading advocate and supporter of families adopting from the US foster care system.

#6 Very soon our family may be fundraising!! Hint, hint.... stay tuned!

STUFF!

Lately I've been thinking a lot about stuff. You know the piles of extra clothes, books, toys, food, etc that are in every corner of my home. As we look at adding another child to our family the expected expenses are in the back of my mind. Not to mention the thought of saving for another adoption in the next few years. I get requests almost everyday from charities and missionaries I want to give my whole bank account to. With another child it has become evident that we need to buy a mini van. Well, we really don't NEED to, but a van sure would make life easier with 3 kids and a double stroller and a dog. With all these tough decisions in mind I can't help thinking- becoming an adult sure isn't as fun as I thought it would be. I don't want stuff and money to be the ruler of my life- God's mission in this world and providing for my family are the most important things. NOT the amount of electronic gadgets, features in my minivan, latest fashions or how many times a month I get those delicious chick fil a waffle fries.

I want to make sure you don't hear me saying "we're poor" or that I'm saying we don't make enough money. Like almost everyone, we would love to make more money for the job we do, but we are thankful everyday for the job and home we have. That is not at all what I'm saying. Actually almost every month we are able to put money into savings! We are NOT living paycheck to paycheck. We can buy everything we need and I am SO thankful for that. What I am lamenting is WASTE. How much MORE could we GIVE to others and save for our future. How much better could our lives be?

Amongst all these thoughts I feel God stirring something new in our family. I don't quite know what it is yet. I already feel like we live a simpler than most people kind of life. We own only one car, rarely go to the mall, buy used kid's clothes, rarely buy clothes for ourselves, half our furniture is handed down, only own one gadget with the initial "I" in the title (and that one is 4 years old), give a box every 6 months to the DAV store, and go to extra measures to make homemade-healthy-less expensive meals for our family. I feel like more is coming.

There is a new book I'm starting called "7" by Jen Hatmaker. I first found Jen's blog during our adoption. She is an author and her honest and funny stories of her family's adoption are so wonderfully written and insightful. I've heard great reviews about her new book, about this very topic of simple living, and I ordered it. My plan is to talk about it here. She goes over seven topics encouraging us to get rid of the excess and make room for Jesus. The seven areas she reviews are clothes, shopping, waste, food, media, possessions and stress. I'll be talking about it more soon.

So much better than EasyMac, Easy Mac

Macaroni and cheese is my ultimate comfort food. Kraft EasyMac used to be a favorite, but they are expensive and full of nasty ingredients and sodium. They do make organic and all natural versions, my favorite being Annie's Naturals. But, those are even more expensive.

So, I've created my own version of Easy Mac that I can make at home, with REAL ingredients I usually always have around and I don't have to make a whole pot of Mac and Cheese. This creation is just as creamy and tastes remarkably similar/better to that powdered stuff, but better really because it's..... um... REAL.

So much better than EasyMac, Easy Mac

1/2 cup whole wheat elbow macaroni

3/4 cup water

1/8 ts salt

a few turns of pepper, or a pinch of pepper

3-4 tablespoons cheddar cheese

1 tablespoon parmesan cheese

1 tablespoon milk

Put macaroni and water in microwave safe small bowl. Microwave 4 minutes. Remove from microwave carefully, it will be very hot. Add salt, pepper, cheddar, parmesan and milk, stir together. Microwave an additional 25 seconds. Stir and enjoy.

Modification- add a few pieces frozen broccoli or 1/4 cup frozen spinach and an additional tablespoon of water when you microwave the pasta. Microwave 4 1/2 minutes instead of 4. Add remaining ingredients in the same way as above.

ENJOY!

My soapbox. Why NOT??

This is my very opinionated post about why people SHOULD adopt. That's what blog's are for, I can get on my soapbox.

John 14:18
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

James 1:27

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.


I have heard several people tell me their excuses NOT to adopt. YES, it is hard. Yes, it is different. Yes, you will have to make sacrifices. I NEVER wanted my life to be easy, I just wanted my life to be meaningful- and yes by more than just adopting, I want that to be just a small part of it. Babies don't want to live in orphanages, children want to have the love of a mother and father. I believe God calls his people to answer the cries of these orphans, and unfortunately many people give God a lot of excuses why not and then never do. Don't get me wrong some people should not adopt, but are your reasons REAL or are they excuses? I just ask you to ask yourself that.

Here's my opinions on the few BAD excuses I hear most:

We can't afford to Adopt? Now are you saying you can't afford another child in your family or the cost of the adoption itself? Adopting from foster care is FREE! Out of the about 45 families that I know who have adopted from Ethiopia, I know of about 15 of them who FULLY funded their adoptions by fundraisers and grants, the others actually could afford it. Now, if you are saying you can't afford another child in your family, that may be another story. But, do ask yourself if its just your lifestyle choices that you can't afford or truly another child? What's truly the cost of two more eggs at breakfast or $45 in thrift store clothes every 6 months- yes I buy all of my kid's clothes from thrift stores, so maybe you don't buy your kids a new backpack every year or the latest DVD. So?

We are done having children. Really? Why? You might have a good reason, you might not. Children are exhausting. But, at the end of the day it's not about me being tired. You don't have to adopt a baby and go through potty training again. Kids can share bedrooms, it's not the worst thing in the world. You don't have to afford full college educations for all of them. MOST college students get loans and scholarships, I did. Now, I know we are all human and have to know our limits, but again I'm asking you to really examine if your reasons not to adopt are excuses or REAL reasons. In reality you probably can add another child to your family.

I can't love a child that's not "my own". YES you can! Bonding takes time for both parent and child, but YES you can love a child you did not give birth too as if you did. I know, I've done it and so have millions of other people throughout time!

What if we get a "bad" child. First of all I don't think there are bad kids, but ones that have been through bad issues. It IS possible to have hard issues. Adopted children have been through trauma. You just have to have tools and know how to help them heal. It is HARD but possible. Who said life had to be easy all the time? Look at those links below. Those kids don't think life is easy, can't you make some sacrifices too? Don't let fear stop you if you can truly find solutions to the problems. In many adoption situations you don't have to accept medical or mental issues you don't think you can handle. There can always be unknowns. You have unknowns when you give birth to a child.

Why adopt when getting pregnant is so much easier? Yep it is easier for some people, hard and heart wrenching for others. I've stated my opinion pretty clearly here that adoption is NOT just for people with infertility. Here's some good reasons www.reecesrainbow.com, www.projecthopeful.org, www.adoptuskids.org. Make the quick account and just look at the faces- YES even the ones with Down's Syndrome or HIV. Don't be afraid of a medical condition until you really research it.

Okay, off my soapbox! Have a great day, thanks for reading.